As I read this week's on the tube home, elbow to elbow with my fellow commuters, I was drawn into Dawn Porter's 'Who wants to be the breadwinner?' and while it's a great question (and a great read from Miss Porter), it also made me think about the independent women (namely me) who win the bread just for themselves (again, yours truly).
But I am with someone who has been married and was (and to a degree still is) the breadwinner so suddenly I've been able to see the non-bread-winner in a different light. And I sometimes wonder at my being so independent and proud and resourceful...when times are tough, there's someone else to 'sort it' or rely on and from the outside, the apparent 'safety net' looks pretty appealing.
But the other part of me still kind of rears up at the thought of not being the source of my life and responsible for my circumstances...and maybe I couldn't ever let go of that drive to create and fight for the life I want...but the older I get and the more 'lessons' that life dishes out, those black and white views get a little grey and from time to time, a little part of me wonders why I want what I want and make choices which take me down difficult roads.
That night when I got home, I flicked through a magazine which had been sitting there for a few days and I read this:
To live content with small means;
to seek elegance rather than luxury;
and refinement rather than fashion;
to be worthy, not respectable; and
wealthy, not rich; to study hard, think
quietly, talk gently, act frankly...to
listen to stars and buds, to babes and
sages, with an open heart; await occasions,
hurry never...this is my symphony.
- William Henry Channing
Funny isn't it that when you let the question come to the surface, the universe finds a way to answer you?
Let the music play on...